


My hands they ache for yours they break for yours they shake for yours

by Clexa_Hollstein



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, They're 13 to begin with, alex and Maggie are in this but not focuses on like at all sorry, young Kara and Lena
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-13
Updated: 2017-02-13
Packaged: 2018-09-24 02:02:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,363
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9694925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Clexa_Hollstein/pseuds/Clexa_Hollstein
Summary: Lena deserves to be loved, I hope she was. Going back to when they're 13 and giving Lena some sunshine. I hope it's ok





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not a great writer, I know I switch perspectives but I hope it's ok

Eliza sighs as the lunch bell rings and her year 9 students flood out the classroom, she knows today will be another day where Lena Luthor will not be one of those students.

“May I have lunch here Mrs.Danvers?” Lena asks voice steady and unwavering.

“You may” Eliza says with a smile as she sits back down and is met with a small smile from Lena. The girl lost what friends she had when news spread fast about her brother beating a student into a coma because he thought he was an alien, he was her closest friend and would always pick her up from school and now the girl had lost him too. 

“Thank you Mrs. Danvers” Lena says after finishing her lunch “You may stay if you like” and Lena does. She takes out her sketchbook and draws Mrs Danvers behind her desk after a drawing she had done of Lex. She pretends the ache in her chest doesn't exist and manages another smile directed at Mrs. Danvers when the next bell rings.

\------------ ------------ 

When Kara is brought into her life Eliza couldn't be more happy. She stays calm and hopes Alex her daughter understands when she gives her their last name. She is so proud when Alex shows her their room together and gives her some of her chips when Jeremiah goes to cook more sausages. It's a shame she's not the same age as Alex and she enrols Kara into her school so she can keep an eye on her.

\----------- ------------

 

Eliza introduces Kara to the class and let's her take a seat in the only empty space next to Lena. Telling Kara the girls name. She hopes Lena doesn't share the same views as her brother but she knows Lena is kind, she doesn't silence the class when students talk amongst themselves as she sees Lena talking to Kara.

 

\-----

 

“Are you okay?” Lena asks the new girl because she has her eyes clenched shut hard.

Kara turns to the voice that silences the noise swirling around her head. “Yeah” the girl keeps her blue eyes on her “Mrs. Danvers says it's a headache”.

“Isn't she your mum? I haven't seen you before” Lena questions wondering why the girl addressed her as Mrs. Danvers.

“No” the girl looks away from her then “I'm adopted” Kara whispers looking out the window.

“Me too” Lena sighs and looks toward the front of the class when Mrs. Danvers draws everyone's attention to the new book they're reading.

\-----

Kara gets up when the bell rings, Eliza had talked her through the daily routine so she would know what's going on. She frowns when Lena doesn't move.

“Aren't we going to have lunch?” She asks Lena jumping a little when Lena flinches out of her stupor.

Lena looks to Mrs. Danvers “Mhm” she responds when Mrs Danvers encourages her with a smile. She begins to get up and yelps a little when the girl is pulling her by hand towards the door she grabs her bag just in time and wills her feet to keep up with the excited girl ahead of her.  
“I’m soooo hungry” the girl mumbles and she hears Mrs Danvers light laugh before the door closes behind them.

\-----

“Where's the fire?” She jokes when Kara doesn't slow down. 

“Fire?! Where?” The girl looks around panicked and is squeezing on Lena's hand hard.

“No no no there's no fire.” Lena's eyes are wide and aching for her friend who she managed to frighten without even meaning to. “It's just an expression, I'm sorry, it's just you were rushing and people just say it” she's squeezing back at Kara's hand trying to get Kara to look at her she didn't mean to scare her. Kara does and “Oh” kara lets out a sigh of relief and Lena feels Karas icy breath hit her neck. “I'm sorry Let's go get lunch” she squeezes Kara's hand a little and Karas smile is back.

Lena lets go of Kara’s hand and shows Kara how the school lunches work. They sit outside after they've eaten and Kara lays on the grass. Lena gets out her sketchbook and starts drawing.

“I love the sun” Kara states and Lena hums in agreement.

“I get burnt too easily” Lena replies and Kara sits up.

“Can I see?” Kara asks when she sees Lena has been drawing.

“Not yet” Lena pokes her tongue out and closes the book a little “ I hardly even started”

“Okay” Kara lays back down and Lena opens the book back up. The red marks where Kara's hands once grasped are showing and Lena opens and closes her hand exercising the sensation before drawing again.

\------

“Where's the fire.” Lillian states coldly not that she really cares. Lena stops running as she jumps down the stairs.

“Sorry. I'm late” she's not but it's sunny today and Lena wants to get out and maybe have some time with Kara before class starts. 

“Don't forget your lunch” 

“I won't, thank you.” 

\------

“Kara why don't you invite your friend for dinner tomorrow night?” Kara smiles widely “ and Alex why don't you invite Maggie?” Alex's cheeks pink like Karas rosy red ones.

“Okay” they say in sync and hug the opposite parents goodbye as Jeremiah drops Alex off every day and Kara goes with Eliza 

\-----

 

“I don't think I can…” Lena’s replies to Kara's invite, her shoulders dropping after the sudden realisation that her mother would probably not allow her. “I’ll ask though”.

“Yes!” Kara grabs Lena's hands jumping a little to quell her brimming excitement. But the smile Lena gives her in return only fuels her more. The bell rings and Lena's first class isn't with Kara but she will see her at lunch so it will be okay. 

“See you at lunch” Kara hugs Lena tight and Lena hugs back before Kara is rushing off. That girl is strong Lena thinks as she rubs her sides. She can feel where Kara's hands were burning at her sides and her hands.

 

\------

Lena looks for Kara but doesn't find her at the table they were at. Her jaw clenches a little when she sees her with a boy she recognises from another class.Kara’s eyes light up and she's by your side before you even smile back and lena thinks maybe she was daydreaming a bit. Kara drags Lena back to their table and the boy who Kara introduces as “Winn” doesn't miss the way your cheeks pink when he raises an eye at your intertwined fingers. 

Kara picks a place on the grass to sit and Winn smiles at you big when he sees you're drawing the two of them. A ball hits your arm and jogs you a little. 

“I'm so-” the guy chokes when Lena looks up at him and stops in his tracks “I'm sorry” the boy says grabbing his ball he looks like he's going to wet himself and runs off before Lena can tell him it's okay.

“They forget eventually” Winn says to you and it hits you that he used to get called toy boy “I guess so” you smile back because it's true Kara turns on her side leaning on her elbow and looks at you both puzzled. “You're confused face is cute” Winn says and shoves Kara. You laugh loudly as she topples over and it’s true too. Kara frowns at you but she can't even look mad and it just makes you laugh more. Winn is laughing and Kara soon joins and this is the happiest you've been in a long time.

\-----


	2. We are together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pizza and confusing Kara

“Lena is your mum okay with you staying at Karas for dinner tonight?” Eliza asks when Lena is the last one following Kara out of the class.

“Yes Mrs Danvers” you lie like you did to your mum this morning saying you had some extra curricular activity and she hadn't cared much to listen. 

She had however grabbed your hand and examined the bruises “did you hit someone?” She had asked you “no” you answered and it was the truth “no use in hitting inanimate objects” was her only response.

“I hope you like homemade pizza” she says picking up her things for lunch.

“I love pizza” you respond “but I've never had homemade.” Kara pops her head back through the door “me neither” she interrupts but Alex says it's great and her girlfriend Maggie's parents make the best apparently.

“Girlfriend?” Mrs Danvers voice is higher and Lena’s palms start to sweat wondering what she's literally standing in the middle of.

“Yeah” Kara chirps “you said she could invite her friend over like I could invite Lena over” Kara grabs Lena’s hand in hers swinging her arms “I'm so excited for dinner” she jumps a little and you're going to explain to Mrs Danvers that you're not not what Karas saying but she's jumping up and down and you're lost for words. 

“Oh honey” Eliza says moving forward “I didn't know it was like that” 

“Like what?” Karas eyebrows furrow and her arms are swinging less she pushes her glasses frames up her nose from where they'd slipped during her jumping.

“It's not” you take your hand back and clench them willing them not to shake “I'm not, I'm not.” your mum would kill you “I’m not.”

“It's okay Lena” Eliza says “Kara, people mostly use the term girlfriend and boyfriend when they're dating, but just so you know it's okay that two girls date like maybe your sister and Maggie?” 

Kara still looks confused “oh … Okay” you look at her confused is that it? … Okay??? 

“Come on then Lena we’ll miss lunch” she takes your hand back “see you later Eliza” she all but skips out the room with you in tow. You turn and give Mrs Danvers an apologetic look but she's only smiling when you leave. 

\-----

“Kara.” You exclaim a little willing her to slow down 

“Sorry” she lets go of your hand and clasps her own together “I'm just excited about tonight I'm really glad she said yes and Maggies mum too”

“Kara” you say before you forget and both keep walking. “You know you just made your mum think we were together and your sister and her friend”

“We are together” she states simply 

“oh? Well I -”

“And Maggie and Alex are probably together right now, like they have all the same classes together” she says pushing her glasses up her nose. 

“Your glasses are cute” you mumble since this is the first time you've really noticed her wearing them.

“Thanks they're new Alex's dad is really smart and I don't have headaches now” she smiles brightly and you nearly forget what you were trying to say.

“Kara I meant together like when older people kiss” she looks down at your hands.

“I mean I'm a little young, but Alex and Maggie are older?” Her eyebrows furrow 

“I know that, I mean...” you sigh “ Winn was right your confused face is adorable. Let's get some lunch”

\-----

Lena is careful not to get messy, she can't exactly say pizza was extra curricular. Kara on the other hand has flour and all sorts everywhere. “Kara!” Alex exclaims and Maggie laughs when she sees the mess and flour dusting Karas brow and cheek. “Pretty good for your first time” Maggie comments when she sees Lena's even and neat pizza. You all help Kara with the rest of her pizza and to clear up the mess.

\-----

“Mmmmm you guys were so right this is sooo good” Kara mumbles through her last slice of pizza and you slip a fourth of yours on her plate she smiles through it and you laugh at her adorable grin. Maggie and Alex seem to have a similar situation on their hands and it makes you smile when Maggie wipes her thumb across some sauce on Alex's face and eats it, maybe Kara was right, you look worriedly toward Eliza and she's smiling knowingly, and even though it's not directed at you this is the most accepted you've felt in a long time.


	3. Sad sad sad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Don't break my heart my achy breaky heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mrs Eliza Danvers is so so kind

Kara and Lena are on the grass waiting for Winn when Kara remembers what happened a while back but never understood “Lena?”

“Mhm?” You look up from your sketchbook at Kara laying on her side leant up on her elbow twirling a strand of grass.

She grabs her back a pack and hugs it to her chest something you've noticed her do a few times like when she pushes her glasses up “what did Winn mean when he said people forget?”

You sigh knowing this time would come, but you at least want Kara to hear it from you “when Winn said people forget…” She wants to stall “he was referring to my brother… Winns dad hurt some people, and my brother he hurt someone badly too… He beat someone up for being an alien, which they weren't and they ended up in a coma.” You sigh again not wanting to look at her. “I wish they were an alien they could have defended themselves” you sigh because it's true, you loved your brother but he shouldn't have done what he did.

“He was right” she says.

“What?!” You exclaim thinking she's referring to your brother and she clenches her bag hard to her chest at your raised voice. “Aliens have just as much right to be here as you and me! And to think I thought you were different.” You get up to leave.

“I MEANT WINN” she flinches at her own panicked voice. “Winn was right, uh people forget”

“Oh” great you've made her panic, again. “I'm sorry”

“What do you mean you thought I was different” she blurts out quickly “I'm not different, I'm just like you, I mean we sure look different and you're pretty and...”

You sit back down not letting Karas last comment affect you “you're pretty too” you say rubbing at your knuckles where there are still marks from Kara’s hands “you're special” you say smiling and put a blue flower in her braid. 

Winn sits down next to you both and smiles wide. “what did I miss” he asks putting a flower in Lena's hair.

“Lena was just telling me how great of a friend you are” she giggles putting a flower in Winns hair. He laughs loud and puts more flowers in Lena's hair. 

“Thanks” he says and you never want to forget this moment. Ever.

\------

“Go and take a shower” Lilian says disapprovingly when Lena comes home with weeds in her hair. “And stay in your room until dinner.”

“Yes mum” you bow your head and go upstairs, it's not like you would have done anything else than stay and paint in your room but now Lillian knows you probably have a friend or friends. Your fingers tremble while slowly removing the flowers, what would she do if she knew you weren't focused in class because all you think of is break time with your friends and how special Kara is. You tuck the flowers in a book and hide your sketch book under the floorboards while you take a shower. 

You draw the flowers. And Winn laughing, you draw Kara's hair and the flowers that you put there. You draw the three of you as if you were someone looking in onto someone else's life. And it seems so unreal. They make you so happy. And you ache to be there again. 

You look at your hands, they're so cold. And there's no evidence of Karas fingers ever being intertwined with yours.

\------

“Lena” you pause and look up 

“yes mum?” You ask shoulders back and waiting

She smiles “why don't you invite your friends for dinner? She asks eyeing you carefully.

“I don't have any you grit through your teeth” and let your shoulders fall and her smile only widens.

“Don't be so upset they're only a waste of time and energy” she gives you your lunch “I love you Lena” 

“You too” you sigh because it's the truth and she's lying and you just wish it was the truth, you wish she could say it and look at you like she did lex and show you affection like she had to your brother. But she can't.all she does is lie and your heart is breaking all over again.

\-----

You find your fists pounding into the nearest wall outside your house where Lillian can't see you and let out the sob wracking your lungs but no tears fall.

\-----

You hadn't realised how hard you'd bashed your knuckles in and they burn a little when they scrape against your bag zipper in Mrs Danvers class, it just makes you think about it though and you want to pound them against anything. you clench your fist shut and let them shake before grabbing your books and pen. You could snap it with the anger that shakes inside and you don't understand why, why everything is so red, Mrs Danvers is talking but you have to get out, you mumble something keeping your worse hand in your bag.

It takes everything within you to not pound your fists against your locker when you launch your bag into it and you have no idea where you're going. I want to go home you repeat over and over until you find yourself on the grass near the tree line and if it weren't for the fence you would be free just like this stupid fence inside you that you don't understand why you can't just be free. 

\-----

You leave before lunch you want to see Kara … And Winn of course but not like this. 

\----- 

you knock on Mrs Danvers class room door and she lets you in with a smile it slowly fades when she sees you, you can't keep standing straight can't keep pretending you can't feel the sobs that wrack your body even if you don't know why exactly they're there. “Can I have lunch with you” and you hate the way your voice breaks you keep your hands clutched onto your sketchbook because your lunch is in your locker and you don't know what to do with your hands that shake.

“If you sit with me at my desk she says” you don't even have to think about it you sit and you want to draw, keep your hands busy but they shake and she hands you an apple and gasps when she sees shaky hands and cut knuckles reaching for it. You go to flinch away but her hand is on your shoulder and the other is opening her desk drawer and you're so glad she's Kara’s mum or new parent because she has a first aid kit and Kara is clumsy and you nearly laugh.

Mrs Danvers looks at you puzzled when a bit of laughter erupts from your throat and you don't want to look crazy so you explain why she'd be the perfect mother.

“Thank you” she says and you wince when she cleans the small cuts.

“I'm sorry I left your class” you mumble 

“It's okay” she says back and wraps a small bandage around them putting her hand out waiting for you to give her your other. You close you book against the desk and give her your hand.

“Did you mean it when you said it's okay for two girls to date?” The question surprises you both and you want to tear your hand away and keep running away from everything away from Mrs Danvers away from-

“Yes” she says and you stay quiet willing her to continue

“Everyone is capable of loving and being loved, and if my Alex wants to love Maggie or anyone or if Kara wants to hold your hand or Winns hand then I will support them like every mother should” she brings her hand up to your face and wipes away a tear you didn't know was there.

She clears her throat “ Kara actually wanted to invite you to keep her company at her sister's party since she doesn't know many people for Alex's school. It's a sleepover on Friday”

“I'll ask my mum” you respond. “Thank you”


End file.
